How on earth do I describe Sgonfiotto? It's an Italian-made device used to help deflate inflatables. You literally just stick it in the hole and it holds it open while you squeeze all the air out. That's it. In fact, I've probably just described it better than my own bloody video does. The Italian makers of Sgonfiotto approached me about making a promo vid, and duly gave me a script they'd written that was terrible. I'm not sure mine was much better, but it definitely had its tongue in its cheek. It was one of the first 'proper' productions I scripted and shot completely independently, filming it all as I saw fit.

Which brings me onto the most amusing part of the project. My friend Bert. He was an actor like me, but is way more sensible and left the whole thing behind long before I ever will. Except, I somehow managed to drag him in on this when I was desperate for another actor and didn't have the funds to pay for anyone else, and frankly nobody else would have understood what the hell I was going for anyway. He duly turned up and proceeded to get pissed, looking more and more confused by the whole project the more we ploughed on (the bit where he bangs on about 'going round in circles' and having a 'nervous breakdown' was literally him at the end of his tether on the umpteenth take of that line). But I love it. There's something very innocent about two people getting together and shooting the breeze about everyday life, and the chemistry between me and my mate is quite evident. Not that I think he's ever forgiven me for dragging him into it.